It was supposed to be a review of the movie, but I think the topic begs a longer and wider discussion. And to be honest, as a movie this one is so-so. I will start with a few words about it, though.
Fiction and reality
The movie does not do the story justice, and I am saying that not even knowing details about the real-life story being told through it. The movie glosses over certain aspects, and generally "plays safe", either to match its age rating or the length or both. It's shallow and does not "disturb" enough, compared to how much it should. From pure story-telling point of view it should have been something between Dahmer and "Cruel Summer", taking the focus on details and general atmosphere of the former, and the non-linear narrative of the latter. And it should have been a limited TV series, probably for 4 hour-long episodes, maybe even more. Why? Because it does not drive the message as well as it could, does not have as much impact as it could, and by the end devolves into a Hollywood's almost "sweet" happy end.
Yes, the real-life story of Lisa McVey did end happily, but it also should be a story that inspire, while this movie does not. If you have not watched the movie yet and are unfamiliar with Lisa's story, the gist of it is that she was forced to live with her grandma by her mother, both of them seemingly willing to allow a man who lived with the grandma to rape Lisa at his leisure, apparently as "payment" for living in that house or something. Lisa was about to commit suicide, but got raped and then kidnapped by another man, who held her for several days. She managed to escape him, and then helped apprehend him.
There are multiple "catches" here:
- As mentioned, both mother and grandmother seemed "ok" with her being raped.
- They did not care that much, when she disappeared, and in fact it looked like grandmother came to police mostly because her "boyfriend" was upset that his toy (and her paycheck) was missing. And they did not believe her, when she returned and told about kidnapping and raping.
- Even police did not want to believe the girl.
While in the movie "police not believing" her could be coughed up as Katie Douglas not playing that emotionally (probably because of poor script and direction, which did not want to go into the trauma aspect of things), in real life... I don't know how to explain it. And that's the reason I am writing this. I mean, this story is from 1984, and I do not think the world has gotten any better, and in fact it has gotten worse. I was not able to find conclusive statistics on this type of offense, unfortunately, since some sites claims that sexual abuse (in general) is on the rise, some say, that it has decreased (which may simply depend on the area and people and sources surveyed), but even if we just average those out, things are, at least, the same.
The main problem is that people do not care. As long as it's not happening to them, they will treat whatever another person says as an attempt to attract attention. This has been the case in the past, and it is still the case. It's gotten even worse now with the "influencer culture", with OnlyFans, Fansly and similar services propagation and even cases of children (not just grownups!) false-accusing others of sexual abuse, when it did not happen. I think it's now becoming almost an instinct for some to consider anything related as a way to "play a victim" and earn money off of that. I expect that in US it is especially prominent since the whole country, practically, exists on hustle culture, that is on lying to everyone for the sake of profits.
Abusing the fear
I am reminded of a case from my past, which I think I covered in some previous post, but will still repeat it. I was returning late from work, it was, at least, close to midnight, if not after midnight. I was walking home from metro station, and there was a woman trying to hitch a ride, but drivers were just passing by. For some reason she approached me and asked if I would escort her home. I did not ask anything yet, but I already saw that she was trembling with fear, so I said yes.
She was returning from birthday at her friend's. She was a little bit drunk, but still had a clear mind (at least by the time she met me). To get home she wanted to take a bus, and was using a stop near her friend's house. There some woman was suggesting her to get into prostitution. Randomly and quite insistently. At some point she decided that instead of continuing that conversation she would rather walk, and so she did. But she noticed, that someone was following her. At first she thought that it was her imagination, but the guy apparently, did try to call out to her a couple of times, with quite clear intentions.
The woman managed to get close to the metro station (which was about 10 minutes of very fast walk from where she started), and since it's a crowded area, it felt like she was safe, but she still needed to get home, which was another 15 minutes of fast walk. So she decided to catch a ride with someone going the same direction. Unfortunately, not many stopped, and from those who stopped even less were going the same way, and from really few who were (or were willing to) none wanted to go for free. And if she does not have any money, they were so graceful to offer their help for a blowjob or, ideally, something more.
When she approached me, she was clearly desperate. Scared shitless. To this day I wonder, how can it be that I was the only one who saw that and did not have any thoughts of abusing that fear. I was very conscious at the moment. I knew of situations, where people staged "raping scenes" to attract good Samaritans to abuse those. I knew, that people lie, and she might have been exaggerating things, especially since she has been drinking (I did smell a bit of alcohol from her). But I saw clearly, that her fear was real, regardless of how real the source of that fear was. Despite of me feeling scared myself (I am not a fighter, if there is an attacker following her, indeed), I escorted her.
She was fine. She clanged to my arm till we were very close to her apartment building, she was hyperventilating and losing words at the beginning of our journey, but I got her home safe, and helped her calm down in general. I never saw her afterwards. Heck, I do not even remember her name. When I told my grandmother about this the next day (technically the same day, since it was definitely after midnight when I returned home), she said I was stupid for helping that woman, because it could have been a scam, and I might have been killed.
Societal apathy
This. Is. Insane. And what's more insane, she is far from the only one who would not just say that, but who would believe that and actively not get involved in similar situation. There are families who intentionally teach their children not to get involve. And yes, if possible, and if time allows, it may be better to call for professional help, but sometimes you can't afford to do that. Furthermore, not doing anything actually can become a crime in itself (criminal omission).
I feel like this is becoming a trend. I know, that my personal experience is obviously anecdotal, but seeing bits and pieces of news here and there, I feel like it's being validated. Which also can be a confirmation bias... But is it? I believe I also mentioned this in the past, but even when I moved to Finland I had a somewhat similar case: a man and a boy entered a metro cart, and the boy was behaving erratically, sometimes creaming and crying, as if he is being taken against his will. The man apologized (and I think he talked as if to me directly even), and said that the boy has some mental thing (I honestly can't remember now what exactly he said, maybe even ADHD). I was still cautious, and kept my eyes on the pair (instead of my phone, as usual) for the rest of the trip, and it looked like the man did not lie, since there were clear signs of mood swings exhibited by the boy, and that he knew the man, and that he was actually willingly going with him.
I hope I did not miss anything in case of the boy, but no one else seemed to care at all, and I do not it was because of Finns not wanting to get involved in stuff. I am once again reminded of that scene from 1st season of Psyco-Pass, where a woman was killed on the street with bystanders just filming it. We are very close to something like that actually happening, because people now believe that things are staged. Because influencers, especially those with trash-streams, where people actually die on stream.
And I have not even touched on the theme of family not caring for or actively abusing its members. Not always older ones abusing younger ones, the reverse also happens, albeit more rare. In earlier days of consumer Internet, specifically during WAP days, I saw quite a few examples of that, and I did experience some "traces" of that in my family, as well. Combinations of all of those was what led me to write this chapter in my unfinished book (seriously, do not follow that link unless you are ready to read something, that can actually induce vomit). I felt like if I do not, I will go insane. My fear to get into that kind of mindset is one of the big reasons why I have not even tried resuming that book, too.
No idea
But where am I even going with this? Honestly, no idea. I know in the past I would have started feeling depressed, but today I feel frustrated instead. People are constantly lying to each other, and so much, that they fail to see the truth, when they see it. It's one thing when that truth is that Earth is not flat, but it's another thing entirely, when it's someone suffering or even at a brink of death. I really do not know what is my point here. Just... Don't? Don't do this? Don't be like this? Be better?
Perhaps, I just needed to vent a bit. It's not like I have any idea how to "make the world a better place", especially with all the man-made shit going on right now. 2025 is year of the snake, and supposed year of renewal (shedding skin and stuff), and while some things may become better, something tells me, that overall, things will become worse, and in general people will feel less and less safe as time goes by. Really hope I am wrong, though.
